Chapter 1 (ATMMM)

“Lizzie, Lane. Happy birthday!”

“Our sweet daughter Lizzy, my lovely son Lane. Congratulations on your 13th birthday! And you got early admissions to the academy also. I’m so proud of you guys.”

“Thanks to you, this old grandma has seen someone going to the academy.”

“I was worried that there was an idiot in the family who was less than the threshold of the Academy.” The Count’s biological mother Zemer added.

At a glance, Zemer looked at her innocent granddaughter, Ailee.

Everyone’s eyes on Zemer shifted to Ailee.

She was curled up in the shadowed corner to stay out of sight.

Even if I was curled up like a crumpled tissue, when I got their attention my body shrank even more.

Ailee’s white hair and purple eyes resembling violets trembled.

She was nervous.

A birthday cake was placed in front of Ailee which was meshed.

Ailee and her twin siblings were two years apart.

What kind of game is this?

The three of them were born in the same month, the same day and they were celebrating their birthday.

Ailee had nowhere to look at, so she put her eyes on a cake with ’14’ written in pretty cream which was the same shape as her siblings, Lizzy and Lane.

[I am not 14 I’m 15 years old. I feel like throwing up already.]

Ailee was 14, she has been unable to eat properly at the same table with adults since her sibling awakens the power of fire, the intrinsic ability of Count Lizziana. All she had was juice, but she began to feel nauseous because of everyone’s gazes.

“Yes, sweetie, is the cake good?”

Zemer asked looking at the cake in front of Ailee.

Ailee bit her lips at her grandmother’s words. I couldn’t naively say: ‘Yes, it’s good.’

Fifteen years old, young and stupid. There was no way I wouldn’t know the meaning behind grandma’s words. She was asking if I finished the cake.

“I haven’t had a bite of the cake yet.”

Her lips, which she bit hard, showed no signs of loosening.

Ailee knew it was rude to bite her lips without answering when her grandma when she asked a question. She also knew that if she didn’t answer right away, her father would sigh deeply and scold her.

‘I can’t open my mouth even though I know everything.’

I have been having an upset stomach since earlier. At this rate the moment she opens her mouth she will definitely vomit here. Or I will let out a cry without looking good. Either way, neither of them was a pleasant situation at all.

As soon as I was sweating and looking around Lizzy accidentally hit the glass. It seems that the juice didn’t spill but everyone’s eyes were set at the loud noise.

“Oh, you should have been careful.”

“Let’s see. Are you hurt my grandson?”

“Sweet girl.”

“Sister, you idiot.”

“I’m not an idiot.”

The moment that Ailee looked at Lizzie, she had the opposite gazes on her. All the eyes looking at Lizzie were filled with warmth, unlike me. Ailee wanted to cry even though she had seen this scenario every day. Her throat was dried.

Temeron, the Count and the father of Ailee said about her:

“Ailee, you’re being rude again today. I’ve always told you not to bite your lips and answer correctly. Go back to the cabin. How long has it been since you got out and are eating with us? Why are you being rude to your grandmother again?”

I thought it was a relief that I didn’t show any signs of failure but I also felt sad enough that the tip of my nose was getting sour. It’s my birthday today.

I didn’t hear a word of happy birthday, so I’m going back.

‘Why am I like this every day? I just shed tears. I’m not good at anything. I’m not good at being gentle. That’s why I’m getting kicked out again this time. I wish I had done better.’

Ailee was thirsty for affection. She was thirsty for the love that she had never received properly. And most of all she was soft. Therefore, she began to blame herself without blaming others for not giving her love.

“Oh! Father, I am sorry, I’ll be there when the meal is over…”

“Go back. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

The two twins who were arguing over who was more stupid stopped and looked at Ailee. The blue hair of the twins headed toward Ailee in unison. Purple eyes thicker than Ailie’s are bent. They covered their mouths with their small hands while giggling and murmuring at Ailee.”

“The real idiot is over there.”

Ailee couldn’t even say anything back even though she knew her little siblings were making fun of her. I’m sure I’m a fool who can’t even handle a single thing.

Ailee hesitated in her seat and eventually got up. Before opening the door she looked back for the last time. Just in case she could hear happy birthday.

“My grandchildren, open up the present that this grandmother prepared.”

“Wow-“

No one paid attention to Ailee who was leaving. Rather, the party was full of energy as it was more enjoyable after the uninvited guest was missing.

Ailee squeezed the hem of her dress, opened the door, and went out.

The friendly sound was clearly heard even before Ailee closed the door.

    ***

‘I want to get a present too. No, I wanted to hear a word of wishing me a happy birthday.’

Would I have been able to get a present if I had stayed there?

I couldn’t stop thinking all the way back.

‘Cause I’m a bad kid. If I had answered my grandmother’s question well I would have received them… No, I would not have received them because I have been mean to her.’

From the age of seven, I have never received a gift wrapped in a gift box.

Instead at the age of eight, I received something vague to call a gift. I was accompanied by my mother’s request to keep it a secret from others.

So I still didn’t know exactly what it was.

Her breathing intensified as if she was nervous and anxious. I answered quickly thinking that if I didn’t answer back she would take it back.

When she answered, her mother sighed and stretched her shoulders. I looked at my mother with shining eyes.

“Yes! I will keep it a secret!”

“Yes, you have to eat it every day. That’s a good girl!”

Good girl?

I only heard that I was a bad kid every day. If I eat this, will my mother love me as a good child? I turned my head quickly. My heart was beating fast.

‘I’m gonna be a good girl.’

I’ll be a good girl. I’ll listen to my mother and one day I will be the eldest daughter who will be recognized by everyone. I think that’s possible.

The most pleasant thing is that I made a secret with my mother.

I thought that I didn’t belong to my family but my mother was actually taking care of me. I was a fool. I don’t even know how my mother feels. I felt good with just this secret. I felt like I had a secret connection to my mother.

I still didn’t exactly know what the medicines I received, I only heard it was a secret, and I didn’t mind it. It was given to me by my mother, it can’t be bad for me.

‘When I go back to the cabin I have to eat it first.’

Although I never heard happy birthday and I was kicked out of the birthday celebration, I was okay with that. I tried to cover up the previous situation with that memory.

“The lady has been kicked out again.”

“That’s understandable. I have one ability but the lady has nothing… Honestly, it’s a bit pathetic.”

“Listen speak quietly.”

‘The book said that if I don’t think about this much, I won’t notice what’s around me.’

Why do I listen to things better the more I try to think? Is this also my problem?

The more you put your thoughts into your head to look away, the louder the users’ voices were heard. I looked around and clenched my fist.

“There’s nothing she can do if she hears it. She’s worse than us. Poor thing.”

I bit my lips hard. No matter how much I heard it I couldn’t get used to it.

I can’t hear anything. I can’t hear anything. I will just go home take the medicine that my mother gave me and rest.

The word “home” suddenly occurred to me. My house is a Rijiana mansion. It was dangerous to think like that now. I might burst into tears that I’ve been holding back.

I had to suppress such thoughts as much as I could. The more I thought about it the harder it got for me, not anyone else.

“Poor girl. But I’m glad she was born a nobleman.”

“If she were born as a commoner, she would have been sold to the circus…”

If there was a form in the voice, it must be stabbing me in this dull day. Their voice seemed to be clear even though she was moving away, and she walked as if she was running away without realizing it.

As I walked with my head down I could see a small cabin now that it was my space. I opened the door. I could hear the creaking sound because it was old.

I’m used to it. I’m used to it.

So I hated it even more. The fact that I got used to this was terrible.

I looked inside slowly, taking a deep breath. Do you not even blink when you say those things? Suddenly, tears began to pop out of my eyes.

“This is not my house.”

The sorrow I had endured earlier exploded at once. Tears began to fall down.

Since I was a child no matter how much I cried there was no one to comfort me so it was a very natural routine, but today this fact came to me even more grievously.

The more I decided not to cry, the more I cried. I tried to hold back my tears and took out the medicine from the white medicine bottle.

‘I still have a present from my mother. Let’s not cry. Let’s not cry.’

I tried to calm down swallowing tears, but I couldn’t calm down. Why do you keep crying? Stop crying, you idiot! I was angry with myself because I couldn’t calm down.

“Uh, don’t cry, don’t cry, you idiot Aileen.”

If you cry you can’t eat what your mother gave you.

It was time to breathe out and sink.

Knock, knock, knock

‘Who is it?’

The crying stopped for a moment.

There was no one to knock on this old gardener’s house. Except for the maid who brings food at every meal time and the twins who come to pick on me.

‘Is this my grandmother? Did she come to give me a present?’

Just in case I was excited.

I wiped my face roughly with my arm before opening the door. If she finds out that I was in tears she might be offended. So what if I can go back?

My face turned red in an instant because of the strong rubbing but it didn’t matter. I opened the door with anticipation. The door opened with sound an old sound and I saw him in front of my eyes-

“Who are you…?”